I think I'm losing my mind!!!

[Manda_panda]

I have been battling depression since I was 15 I was diagnosed with bipolar and I have tried every type of medication there is. about 7 or 8 years ago I stopped taking my medication and it was working but recently the last couple weeks I have been so depressed that I don't think I can manage much longer. I moved from nova scotia to be closer to my family in Winnipeg but that seems to have back fired on me and I think that is when I started feeling depressed again.

I find that I am starting to really hate myself I feel like I am all alone and that I don't have anyone. I use to battle suicidal thoughts on a regular basis and now they are all coming back. I just can't handle my life anymore and I feel that since my own father doesn't really even appreciate that I am back in my home town that maybe he would be better off with out in the world it's not like it would really matter he was never in my life anyway so I don't think it would make much of a difference.
I feel so empty especially this weekend. I am scared and I don't know what there is left out there for me life is just getting hard and I don't think I can cope anymore.

[parkerpeter011]

Losing mind due to overloading and depression and also due to negative thinking. If you are doing much mind working this will also the cause of losing the mind.

[taisha]

I think it may be very important for you to go talk to someone - counselor, friend, psychiatrist. It also may be time to try some medication again - I know some people like to try and manage without, but I'm a firm believer of laying a good solid (medication) foundation and then working your way up.

I know this will sound harsh - but screw your dad, for now anyway. You need to concentrate on you - you can deal with him later. I went through very similar feelings a year or so ago and I can't tell you how much better I feel now - but I had to work at it. Moving, starting a new job are both very stressful events in your life. And though family is awesome - sometimes they can cause negative feelings to come to the surface.

I went to a Naturopath a while ago, and she gave me this advice, "Don't believe your thoughts" - it sounds pretty silly, but it's very useful. Thinking too much is horrid for a depressed person - I think it's because we have such wonderful imaginations

Anyway, good luck and know that you felt good before and you will feel good again.

taisha